其实让我受不了的是 Me, what bothers me,
天天听说有很多单身男人 在找寻婚姻伴侣 is to hear all day that a lot of guys want to settle down.
可可，对不起 我已经找到了六个月了 Coco, sorry, but I'm looking for 6 months.
结果呢，这是撒哈拉沙漠！ Well, this is the Sahara.
我什么法子都试过了 And I did everything eh!
所有我能做的，我每晚都出去， 当然都是我单独一人 I put all my chances. I go out at night alone necessarily
这感觉倒也挺不错的 but it is not so bad as that.
我还参加了单身男女邮轮旅行 I did a singles cruise.
可我生来不是水手的命 But I'm not a sailor,
结果在海上我吐了一周 I vomited for one week.
我还注册了许多交友网站 都注册过了，可网上都是蠢货 I registered on sites meeting, there is as tainted.
嘿，打断一下 So! Sorry!
蜜梨鹅肝沙拉 哦，谢谢 Small jar of foie gras pears with salad. Yes, thank you.
我还参加了快速相亲 I also participated in speed dates,
神秘相亲、快速神秘相亲、搬家酒宴 The blind dates, speed blind dates, racks ...
从什么时候开始， 圣诞夜我们邀请陌生人来吃饭了？ An unknown person to Christmas?
我知道，这是可可的新老板 她可是很有名！ This is the new boss of Coco a size of the edition.
-那又如何？ -她今晚一个人 Then how to... She was alone.
她令人讨厌！ 呃 是的！ It is boring! Well, yeah!
另一方面 Other resolution
我去了发廊 完全换了一个发型 I saw a stylist and changed hairstyle.
我和我的发型师弗朗西斯科非常好 With Francis, my hairdresser, was chosen
一起决定换了我现在这个发型 scanning by lifting the roots.
是的，其实我是想试着 把脸露出来的样子 Yes, because I tried open my face.
我觉得这发型挺成功的 It is quite successful.
她最好闭嘴吧 She would do close her mouth.
我还没找到心上人 可我不在乎 I met person but I do not care.
因为 Because ...
要紧的是 这个过程让我逐渐变成了另一个人 what matters is the approach having gone to the other.
自从我离婚后 Finally, since my divorce ...
这六个是我生命中最美的阶段 the last 6 months were wonderful.
亲爱的! Honey!
让她哭! 哭吧, 哭吧，把情绪发泄出来 Leave it! Chialez, go ahead, it has to come out.
不好意思 对不起 Sorry, I'm sorry.
我把你们的圣诞夜搞砸了 I'll rot your Eve.
没有 没有 你开玩笑吧? No, no. Are you kidding?
就我个人来说吧，我有点儿讨厌你了 Me, you weary me.
妈妈! Mom!
简直是噩梦！ A nightmare this chick!
瓦莱丽6个月前离婚了 Valerie divorced there 6 months. She said
这我知道，她都说了五遍了 可我不明白她的问题在哪? five times. Where is the problem?
问题是我都已经36岁了 The problem is that I'm 36 ...
我的爱人弃我如糟糠 The love of my life dumped me like shit.
我承受不了 I saw evil.
我找不到心上人 I meet people, nothing
只有一些笨蛋们想“上”我 that assholes who want to fuck me.
瓦莱丽 这有孩子呢! 爸爸，什么叫“上”啊？ The small! Dad, what's jump?
抱歉 亲爱的，“上”就是 Sorry ... Jump, honey ...
相互抚摸,但更刺激一些 it is to cuddle, a little hard.
怎么个刺激? What is hard?
以后我给你解释 I'll explain later.
总之，我将永远找不到另一半了 I never find him someone.
我将孤独终老 I'll end up alone.
好吧, 维罗妮卡! Well, Veronica!
瓦莱丽! Valerie!
好好，都一样 Yes, it's the same.
我们给你讲个故事吧 听完你会好受一些 We have a story for you. We will not listen
我们可不想再听一遍这个故事! 别这样! history, it will! Please!
我要去做沙发了 不，你别走 I'm leaving. No, remains.
瓦莱丽 Well, Valerie ...
故事是，这个家庭里的所有女人 In fact, for all women of the family,
第一次婚姻都不太好 first marriage is never good.
就像是诅咒 As a curse.
不是诅咒，更像是魔法 是诅咒! Rather a twist of fate. A curse!
就是这样 我都不知道这诅咒源于何时 据说是1884年 It goes back so I know more. 1884.
开始于我的曾祖母阿黛尔 Adele my great-grandmother.
我的外婆、姨妈、表妹们, My grandmothers, aunts, cousins,
所有女人都是再婚 all have remarried
然后才得到幸福 to be happy.
我将来也会离婚吗 I will divorce myself.
当然啦 小宝贝! Of course!
哦不，别和她说这个 Do not tell him that.
就得说 好 好 好! Oh yes, yes, yes!
我们家就这样，第一个总不理想 Here, I never goes.
瓦莱丽! Valerie!
我是第二任 I am the second.
我岳父 也是 Grandpa too.
是 Yes.
还有一个，曾希望能逃过一劫 One wanted to escape.
伊莎贝拉! Isabelle!
谁是伊莎贝拉? Who is it?
我姐姐 My big sister.
故事发生在十年前 It began there 10 years.
她在牙医学院的最后一年，遇到了皮埃尔 She met Pierre final-year dental college,
他是实习生的老师 its new charge of TD.
高大、英俊 Tall, handsome guy.
很快 有人吗! Very quickly ... Please!
皮埃尔成了她的私人老师 He became his private tutor.
很快，她住进了他家 Soon she moves in with him.
很快，同居到了一起 Very quickly it gets home.
他们一起工作 嘴张大 They work together ... Open well.
实际上，他们形影不离 十年来， In fact, they do everything together. For 10 years,
每周都重复着同样的事情 week repeated.
星期天，在家吃早饭、中饭 The Sunday brunch.
伊莎，注意步法 周一，打保龄球 Isa, foot. Monday is bowling.
好耶! Yes!
周二, 在"百味斋"吃饭 Tuesday, "Les Mille flavors."
羊排? Veal?
鱼排？ 好的，帕斯卡 Yes, Pascal.
周三，看图说话 Wednesday, Pictionary.
皮椅 对呀! A club chair. Yeah!
继续! Come on!
周四 早晨 Thursday morning
打网球 This is tennis.
而周五, 他们做 And on Friday, they ...
好吧，我就不说细节了 I spare you the details.
哦，宝贝，继续, 可可? Come on, do chains, Coco?
总而言之 皮埃尔曾经是她生命中的那个男人 Short! Peter was man his life.
但是，他却是第一个 为了不失去他， But it was the first. It has
她决定不和他结婚 decided not to marry.
伊莎不笨! 她用自己的方式逃脱那诅咒 No bitch, Isa! She turned away the curse.
但是对于完整的幸福, But to be truly happy,
她还缺少点儿什么 it lacked something.
一开始, 他们没有孩子，也生活得很好 At first, they lived well without children.
但忽然间，问题就出来了 But it took strange proportions.
你在做什么? What are you doing?
对不起! Sorry!
几个月内，要孩子的问题萦绕着她 In a few months, it became an obsession.
她一直想着孩子的事情 She thought constantly.
每当她不再想的时候, 她的生物钟就在不断提醒 When she not thought, her biological clock reminded him.
我去下超市 I'm going to Picard.
还好吗? Will it?
是，很好! Yes, great!
你要知道，很多情侣没结婚 但是依然生了孩子 Plenty of couples have children without being married.
在我妈妈看来 我们同居已经是罪大恶极了 For my mother, we already saw the ultimate sin.
未婚生子，会像是魔鬼的孩子 A kid be the child of the devil.
你希望每次看到孩子，都向他泼圣水吗？ She splashed holy water poured each time.
可怜的孩子，得一直穿着雨衣啦 Imagine in the small Mac.
在巴尔扎克家， 一直都是这样，先结婚，后生子 In Barzic, it is always marriage and baby.
你只要做一件事情 You got one thing to one pound.
嫁给我 Marry me.
你知道，我不能 You know I can not.
抱歉 Sorry.
这样又过了几个月 It took a bit, she took
她一直忍着，直到有一天她崩溃了 on it, before cracking.
我们已经相爱了十年，彼此心心相印 We love for 10 years, we know each other? by heart.
我们不会有事 It will anything happen to us.
我们举行个小小的结婚仪式然后就成了 A small wedding quickly and then voila, eh ...
这主意不错 It will be nice.
你从什么时候开始抽烟了? Since when you smoke?
从现在开始 Since now.
我到底怎么了! What nonsense!
你们过去那么幸福 你曾经是我们的榜样 You were so happy. You had
但也发现了问题 found the flaw.
我明白 我就是想和皮埃尔生个孩子 I know, but I want children with him.
当你将来孤身一人的时候， 就知道照顾孩子多么不容易了 It will be nice when you're alone.
妈妈! Mom!
我会捉住你的 I'll catch you.
嘿，伙计! 你明知道事情的始末 Hi my friend! How do you get to say yes
怎么还能说“好”呢? when you know?
闭嘴吧，你也来烦我! 别告诉我，你也相信她们的迷信说法！ Do not tell me what you think their bullshit!
不，没呀，但我很高兴成为第二任 No, but I'm glad being the second.
你们婚礼入场时 要放[爱情狂欢]这首歌吗? You will pass "Vertigo of Love" at the wedding?
别想了，我们会请一个主持人 啊，不会吧 Sorry, we take a DJ. Certainly not.
调动音乐可是我老帕的工作 The musical entertainment, this is Patoche.
来点儿音乐 Make some noise, go.
我想唱 又没有麦克风 I attack the mic, I have no mic.
嗯 嗯 Uh uh
我觉得我能行 但是 I felt that I wanted. But ...
对比起，我没很明白 主持人和这个故事有什么联系 Sorry, I can not see well the relationship with the DJ.
你干嘛老讲这些没人在乎的细节呢 Stop with this anecdote, who cares.
要知道，亲爱的，这是故事的多面性 单面性 A story is a faceted prism. Ball facets.
白与黑 黑与白 Farah Facets. Brigitte
不对，你错了 Fosset No lost.
我都不知道我讲到哪儿了 I lost the.
斯蒂摩洛口香糖 噢，对，丹麦的 Stimorol. Oh yes! Denmark
情侣们可以在一刻钟内结婚 然后在10分钟后离婚 you can get married and divorce in 30 minutes.
是! 可以这样做 Ah! That's what she would do.
快速结婚，然后闪电离婚 Express Marriage then divorce.
我们称之为：斯蒂摩洛行动 We called it: Stimorol operation.
哦，你来啦! Wow, you voila!
9:53, 降落哥本哈根 9:53, landing in Copenhagen.
你等一个叫拉-翁-安德逊的青年学生 You expect a young student, Lars Von Anderson.
11点结婚 然后他会和你说“我愿意” Mayor at 11am, he will say "Yes".
11点半 签离婚协议 11:30 amicable divorce.
下午三点，你就可以回到巴黎和皮埃尔结婚了! 15h, return to Paris and voila!
你确定这没风险吗? 绝对没有 This is risky? No.
我跟皮埃尔撒谎了, 我讨厌自己 I lie to Peter, I hate myself.
你跟他怎么说的? You told him what?
我想到的第一个借口就是，你精神不佳 The 1st thing that came to me: you're depressed
然后我陪你去修道院彻底放松心情 and I'll go with you for a spiritual retreat.
这就是你想到的第一个借口? This is what you came first?
我知道 I know.
真是太笨了，我们住的那么近? 如果他突然出现怎办？ We're neighbors. And it tumbles?
你来解决呗 Figure it out.
穿上这个! 这是什么? Put it! What is it?
哥本哈根在下暴风雪 This is the storm
雪！ 哦，不! Snow. Oh no!
再见! Hi!
我害怕坐飞机呀 I'm afraid of flying.
（丹麦语）呃！不好意思， 你好像坐了我的位子 Undskyld mig, men jeg tror, dusidder sted i put
咦? Huh?
（丹麦语）不好意思... Undskyld mig, men jeg tror ...
我不是丹麦人 对不起! I'm not Danish. Sorry!
哦，你坐了我的座位 啊，是的！ You're sitting me. Ah! Yes.
我刚才找了空姐，跟你商量换下座位 The hostess told me to do with you.
我非常害怕坐飞机 噢 I am very afraid of flying. Oh.
如果能看着窗外，我会好受些 I like to see outside.
哦，我明白了 谢谢，你真好 I understand. Thanks, that's very nice.
怎么? Yes?
我在等我的座位 I look for the place.
放心吧，要是真的有事儿, 坐哪儿都是一样的 Rest assured, if it crashes, on or it hurts the same.
你要知道，出门买面包的死亡概率 比空难高得多 And you're more likely to die by getting your bread.
同时, At the same time,
我不能让自己害怕坐飞机 因为我一直得旅行 I can not afford to be afraid, I travel constantly.
我在背包客工作 I work the Backpacker.
就是导游 The guide.
嗯，我明白 约翰伊芙-贝尔蒂埃 I know. Jean-Yves Berthier.
别人叫我 冈希夫 They call me Gingiva.
你好 你好 Delighted. Hello.
你要去丹麦? 对 You go to Denmark? Yes.
这飞机上说有人都去丹麦 As all of us here.
啊，不，我要去肯尼亚 内罗毕 No, I'm in Kenya, Nairobi.
哦，糟糕! 我忘了拿一样东西了 Oh shit! I forgot something in my bag.
哎 That ...
你是不是想问我 为什么会出现在这架飞机上? You ask me I'm here, right?
是 Yes.
我省了280欧元呢 I save 280 euros
因为我在哥本哈根转机 with the stop I pound Copenhagen.
聪明的办法 System D, D like doing.
你知道节省下来的 You know what we do
280欧元能在肯尼亚做些什么吗? 不知 aves 280 euros leg-down? No.
一切 能做一切啊！ All we can do anything.
你知道我想做什么吗? 不知 You know what I do? No.
什么也不做，因为我是负责人 Nothing, because I am responsible.
你去做什么 What will you do
去丹麦做什么? 我要和一个不认识的丹麦人结婚 Denmark, you? Marry with a stranger.
这婚姻花了我5000欧 It cost me 5000 euros.
如果你不介意，我想休息一下， 现在 I I want to rest a little, Now.
假结婚吗? A white wedding?
好样的，真够遵纪守法的! Congratulations, it's clean!
别担心，我不会告发你的 I say nothing.
啊，现在的婚姻都变质了! Ah, marriage, this is what it was!
当我想起我爸妈的时候! When I think of my parents!
你知道我爸认识我妈多久，向她求婚的? You know the time it took Dad ask the hand of mother?
仅仅24小时 24 hours.
但他们一起生活了70年 Their marriage lasted 70 years.
该死，约翰伊芙 克制自己 Fucking Jean-Yves ... Pull yourself together.
其实我也一样 当我遇到梦中情人的时候 我会立刻 毫不犹豫地说“我愿意” I like it when I fall on the right, it will be so on.
你呢? And you?
你觉得 我现在想和你说话吗? What makes you think I'm talking about?
这个 耳机、眼罩 Headphones, mask ...
对不起! Sorry!
露易丝 你明白吗? Louise Do you understand?
当年见到皮埃尔叔叔，该说些什么? 你一直在家 What do you say: Uncle Peter? That you're the.
不，我跟你说过了，说我不在家 I told you to tell him I'm not.
再说一遍，如果你见到他，你怎么说? If you see him, you tell him?
你叫我告诉他，说你不在 What you told me to tell him that you were not.
天哪，这孩子啥都不懂 It freelancing nothing.
非常好! It is very good that!
谁呀? Who is it?
可可，可可，我找到了 Coco, Coco, I found ...
什么，怎么了? What, what What is it?
嗨! 家有客人? Eh! Are you with someone?
不!当然没有，皮埃尔，你来得正好 No! You fall very well, Peter.
我正想着你，我刚准备了婚礼的音乐 I worked on the music for marriage.
我有一个复杂的方案 I have a rather complex choice.
我觉得在马斯雅斯的东方曲段后面 After the eastern sequence Enrico Macias
串上一段迪斯科波尼姆的混音 你觉得怎样? it connects? do the disco the medley Boney M.
嗯! 伊莎跟我说了科琳娜的事儿 Yeah! Isa said to Corinne.
是不是很严重? This is not too serious?
呃，你在说什么? What is it?
他意志消沉，你能跟我聊聊这事儿吗？ His depression. You can tell me.
行，行 这太奇怪了 这件事 Yes, yes. This is crazy, this story.
如果你想找人聊聊的话，我陪你 I am if you want.
怎么样，撑得住吗? How you holding up?
还有小孩子的事儿? 妮可今天一切都好 With the little one? Nickel is
在学校呢!所以我挺悠闲 school, cushy! It's Sunday.
嗯,今天是星期天 Yeah, it's Sunday.
哦，是，今天是星期天, 在米歇尔-托家 It's Sunday, Michèle Torr.
其实她是在上补习班，嗯，就这么回事儿 There she is in remedial courses.
你知道这孩子不是很聪明 It is not very smart.
你能懂吧? You see the madness?
伊莎贝拉来电 呃... Vibrate Er ...
知道吗? You know what?
我们别自寻烦恼，好吗！ It is not taking the lead. Sit!
你好好坐着! 咱们喝点儿咖啡 然后感觉如何 When cool! We will be good coffee and the kiffer.
好吗? 我去冲咖啡! Agree? Let's go!
喂，伊莎! Yes, Isa!
什么?他没来？ It has not come?
一个人都没有，他放我鸽子了 He has planted me, I am alone.
我一直给你打电话，每次全是听到电话留言 I fall every time on the answering machine.
听着，我都等了5个小时了，该死的计划! I waiting since 5:00, your great plan!
那你准备怎么办 ? What you gonna do ?
我怎么知道！我只能回去了 In your opinion, I go.
别呀，就差一步就搞定了 No, you're almost there .
你想想办法，先结婚，后离婚，然后回巴黎 You go to Paris married and divorced.
我能怎么办 ? 我怎么知道 How do I ? I do not know .
来点儿创意呀，好让我惊讶一下 Be creative and surprise me.
你太搞了 ! 看看你的周围有没合适的 You're funny ! Look around you .
哥本哈根应该有很多单身汉 Seeking a single guy.
找个你第一眼看到的傻子 Finds the first idiot came
然后你把他骗到手不就得了 and returned him there.
啊，婚姻啊! 当我遇到梦中情人的那天, Ah the wedding! Ouand I fall on the right,
我会毫不犹豫地说“我愿意” be so on.
# 你呢？ # And you
你好 我想买 Hello. I would buy ...
我会法语 In French.
太棒了! Super!
告诉我，肯尼亚有教堂吗? Are the churches in Kenya?
当然啦 Of course.
那好，我买一张去内罗毕的机票 So I'd like a place for Nairobi.
好的，稍等 好像按转机的票价算便宜 OK. You have a call rate
可以便宜280欧，对吗? with 280 euros in savings, right?
不是啊 No.
只剩一张3200欧的商务舱了 But there is a place in business only a 3,200 euros.
啊？ Ah ...
谢啦 Thank you.
你在这，做什么呢? That leg-you do?
那你呢?你咋会在这儿？ And you?
我要去内罗毕呀 I'm leaving to Nairobi.
不和丹麦人结婚啦? You marry YOU more with a Dane?
我开玩笑呢 I was joking,
我不想让你知道，我们同去一个地方，这样你会缠着我聊 I thought you played the minesweeper who goes to the same place.
不不，我不会 抱歉 No, not at all. Sorry.
我，我之前对你不太好 I I had horrible sound.
是，确实 Yes, though.
好吧，希望你能原谅我 She laughs. I'll be forgiven.
劳驾, 我想坐在让-查理先生旁边 Sorry, I would like to be placed next to Jean-Charles.
伊芙 抱歉，伊芙先生 Yves. Excuse me, Mr. Yves.
约翰伊芙 Jean-Yves.
哈哈哈，约翰伊芙 Jean-Yves.
女士，你的座位在商务舱 You're in business class.
不是吧? How so?
哦，不，不! Oh no!
真是讨厌，总是这样 It's always like that.
他们又给我升舱了 We still outclassed me.
麻烦你帮我换成经济舱 I want my place in eco.
可以换成给其他人升舱 Congratulations! Someone else.
呃，换我的吧? 好的，没问题 Me, please? No problem.
谢谢 Thank you.
谢谢啊！ Thank you
没事儿! Of course!
怎么样? Will it?
旅途不赖吧? 太棒了 You make a good trip? Super.
那就好 That's good.
我现在想跟你道歉 I wanted to apologize for just you per hour.
我听着呢 I hear you.
怎么说? How so?
你想道歉那就说吧，我听着呢 I hear your excuses.
哦，呃 Oh, uh ...
呃，好，我道歉，是因为 这不难开口吧，靠! I apologize for ... It's simple, shit!
你想吃饭就吃，想道歉就快说，靠! Want YOU apologize go fuck!
好啦，放松点儿! 你瞧，每个人都有坏脾气 Relax You! You're not the only one who can
情绪稳定 be unpleasant.
开玩笑啊! 原来酱紫啊! This is a joke. Of course.
太好笑了! Excellent!
是啊，太搞了 Excellent, yes.
这是你第一次去肯尼亚吗? This is the first time Kenya?
你开玩笑吧? Are you kidding?
哦不是，我这一年去了4次了 At least, the fourth time this year.
我现在太需要旅游了 I'm really need right now.
这就像我的氧气瓶 This is my oxygen.
说到氧气，潜水是一向很好的运动 Speaking of which, for diving ...
因为我单身 Because I'm single.
我刚和男盆友分手 I just broke up with my boyfriend.
好消息是 The good news is that
我现在单身了 I am alone.
完全自由自在了 Completely free.
话说这单身总比跟衰男在一起强啊 It's better than being in bad company.
嗯，对啊! Oh no!
找个好男人肯定比单身强啊 It is better to be very good company.
不不，单身比衰男强 No, better to be alone than in bad company.
随你说吧 Okay.
你让我犹豫了 啊？ You put me doubt. Ah!
不，还是单身强 No, finally.
女士，经济舱的乘客不允许到商务舱来串 You are not authorized ahead in business class.
哦，好的，好的，我马上走 Okay, okay, two seconds.
行吗! 谢谢合作 It will! Thank you.
好吧，一会儿见! Oh well, see you all the time!
一边儿去! Fuck off!
不好意思，借过，借过! Sorry! Excuse me!
嘿! 嘿! He whistles. Oh! Oh!
嘿! 等等，等等! No! Wait!
伙计 Bouary ...
谢谢 Asante. -. Karibu
现在位于内罗毕的瑟琳娜酒店的门口 From the entrance, the Nairobi Serena Hotel the tone.
这是一个充满热带风情的酒店 That of a discreet hotel scented tropical ...
完毕 早上好，先生 早上好，你好 0 var; Hello, sir.
我很好，谢谢我来帮你拿行李吧? I can take your luggage?
其实,我不是来住酒店的 In fact, I did not stay at this hotel ...
请问，酒店前台在哪儿? Reception, please?
在那边 By.
啊！ Cry
伊莎贝拉! Isabelle!
约翰伊芙，太不可思议了，你在这儿干嘛呢? Jean-Yves, it's crazy, What are you doing here?
你不觉得，你在跟踪我吗? You do not would follow me?
没呀，完全没有，我 No, not at all, I ...
你在女人面前搞假招子是吗? You treat women well?
你吻了我以后，就玩儿消失吗? A kiss and more news?
纠正一下啊，是你强吻的我好吗 It was you who kissed me.
疯了，咱们也太有缘了 This is crazy
巴黎-哥本哈根-内罗毕，我们在同一个航班 to be in the same plane Copenhagen-Paris-Nairobi
结果又到了同一个酒店，对不！ 是，是 then in the same hotel. Yeah.
走啊! Good going!
穿上你的游泳衣，咱们泳池见 Put your jersey I found you pool.
哦，不,伊莎贝拉，我不能， 我干完活得走人，现在已经迟到了 Yes, uh, no, I can not, I finished and I bosser file.
你不在这儿住吗? 不啊，我住斑马旅社 You will not sleep here? No, Zebra lodge.
斑马旅社重新营业啦? 我每次来都住那里，但是后来歇业了 They reopened? But it is I was asleep before they close.
等等我好吗，我去退房 Wait, I'll cancel my room.
好吗? 好的 Agree? Okay.
嗨，你好! Hi!
不好意思，我不会说法语 Sorry, I do not speak French.
没关系啦，你把嘴唇像这样动动就行了 No problem, you just move your lips like that.
吧啦，吧啦，吧啦 Blah blah blah ...
对，就这样，非常好! Well, that's it, perfect!
这家酒店有两个餐厅 一个酒吧、一个赌场 In this hotel you will also find two restaurants, a bar, a casino ...
办好了 不，不，不，先别跟我说话? This is good ... No, please?
有一条黄金守则：录音时请保持安静 There is a golden rule: Dictaphone silence.
除非我说了“完毕”吗，请不要 Up "over" prohibits
打断我说话，明白吗? to speak to me, understood?
抱歉 这儿还有一个赌场, Sorry. A casino therefore,
一个游泳池，和一间SPA，总之 a swimming pool and spa, short ...
这里有五星级酒店所必需的一切设备设施 any distinction that may require in a five star hotel.
完毕 Over.
抱歉啊,工作就是工作! Sorry, but the job eh!
哦，我能理解 你刚才说什么? I understand. You were saying?
我已经退房了 我们走吧? 好啊 I canceled my room. Shall we? Yes.
但你的行李呢? But your luggage?
我懂，宝贝儿，不过我得挂电话了 No, but I know my Pitou but I had to cut my phone.
修女不许我们在这打电话，你懂的 The Sisters are strict on it.
我也是，我想你啊 You too, I miss you.
嗯，喂? 皮埃尔? Eh, hello? Pierre?
皮皮, 你在听吗? 喂喂? Peter, can you hear me? Hello?
皮埃尔? Pierre?
是，是，现在听到了 不，实际上, Yes, I hear you there. No, in fact,
我们不能马上回去 因为科琳娜的情绪很糟 is not fit on. Corinne is very bad.
所以我们还得多呆几天 We'll stay a little longer.
嗯? 没，没啥,没什么 Huh? No, it's nothing.
是科琳娜被吓到了 Corinne is a panic attack.
不，我再打给你吧，别给我打 No, I remind you, do not remember.
是，我也是，我爱你，拜拜 Yeah, me too, I love you. Goodbye.
哦不! Oh no!
我拿错行李了 I was wrong bag.
我们走吧? Shall we?
约翰伊芙 过来看看 Jean-Yves. Come and see.
咋样? So what?
嗯,呃 不错哦 Uh, uh ... well it goes.
不错,不错 Yeah, yeah ...
换一个颜色如何? Another color?
嗯? 呃 好哇 A? Yes ... huh?
是吗? Yes?
哦耶! Whoops!
太热了 It's hot.
哦你 你真是 Oh ... v you ...
这里,确实热 It's hot, it's true.
跟俄罗斯完全不同 It changes me from Russia.
你知道俄罗斯? You know?
哦，如果你觉得一个人在莫斯科住了12年, If you consider that living in Moscow for 12 years,
并且是“背包客”杂志的 东半球 / 波罗的海 / 俄罗斯的总负责, being responsible for the country department Eastern / Baltic / Russia Backpacker,
这叫有点儿了解俄罗斯的话， it is a little known
嗯，那我“有点儿”了解俄罗斯 Russia, then yes, I know a little Russian.
怎么样? So?
呃，嗯，还不错，但是出去的话，是不是有点儿 For there yes, but outside this is a little ...
那我再试试别的? I try another?
那你来选吧 Choose the time.
马上! See you soon!
谢谢 Asante ...
啊哦，你看起来真美! 谢谢 You are beautiful! Thank you.
我想了解你的所有,约翰伊芙 I want to know everything about you, Jean-Yves.
喔! 我是处女座,上升星宿 Hou! I'm Virgo Libra ascendant,
所以我不能忍受谎言、不公、偏见，还有吸烟 So I do not support the lie, injustice, tobacco and prejudice.
我喜欢沙发床，多用而且方便 我喜欢实践胜于理论 I like sofa beds, it is convenient. I likes practice.
我看起来很时髦 I was told pretty.
但是完全不这样 我根本就不在乎我的外表，但是除了头发 This is bone false. I do not care my appearance, but my hair.
18岁就开始掉头发了，因此我做过植发 真的无法接受这个事实，但是我不怕告诉你 I started losing dice 18. I say without shame, I have implants.
这不是真的吧? That's not true?
完全看不出啦 It's not at all clear.
为这我花了不少钱 I have two credits Cetelem on the skull.
另外我非常讨厌浪费 I I hate waste.
至于咖啡，我更喜欢阿拉比卡咖啡，然后用咖啡机来泡 In coffee, I prefer arabica the robusta.
我喜欢跳舞，各种舞蹈，比如波尔卡、哥萨克 I love dancing, all dances: polka Kazatchok ...
去年，我还去学习了大腿舞 Last year, I even tried the lap dance.
但我没坚持下来呀 But I have not hooked, no.
关于颜色? 只有几种 橙色、青色、卡其色 A color? Non several. Orange, khaki and overseas.
我的幸运数字，显然是26，第3，还有1000 My figures, it is obvious, 26, the 3rd, 1000.
喜欢的书《蚂蚁》，喜欢的歌曲《我将幸存》 A book "The Ants." A song: "the Will Survive."
喜欢的动物是人头马 An animal, the centaur.
只要你了解的够多，那你就是我了 And if you have lots of triangles, you are Jean-Yves Berthier.
你说的这些真够详细的啊 It is very accurate stuff.
独自生活的好处就是，可以很好地了解自己 The advantage when you live alone, is that we learn to know one pound.
哦，我忘说了 我喜欢偶尔去打一打保龄球 I forgot, I like bowling.
哦，是吗，我也是耶 Oh, I also like.
哦说的我胃口大开，饿死我了 It opened my appetite everything, I'm starving.
好啊 Okay.
你好! Hi!
嗯! 嗯! 哦，真是嗅觉的盛宴啊! Hum! Hum! Oh, what a festival of flavors!
这就是那个有名的汤吗? 嗯是啊 So this is the famous supu? That's it.
汤, S-P-G-G The supu, S-P-G-G
是马萨伊人的传统早餐 is breakfast traditional Maasai.
这是羊杂汤 汤里面有心、肝、肺 a soup with heart, the lungs and liver
以及羊身上一些其他东西 口味非常地道 Goat and many other original things.
完毕 请来两盘这个 Over. Two plates, please?
谢谢 不谢了 Asante. - Karibu
两位请慢用 Welcome.
嗯! Hmm!
我知道你怎么想的 I know how you feel.
你在想 You think.
为什么一个喜欢俄罗斯的编辑来非洲 What is a Russophile editor
正是 Africa. Exactly.
别折磨我了, 打死我也不说 Not torture me, I tell you everything.
真是巧合 This is the chance.
从来就没有什么巧合，都是命中注定的 There is no chance that fate.
哦，不一定! Oh no!
我顶替了盖伊 I replace Guy
东非旅行团的负责人，这哥们儿忘了接种黄热病的疫苗了 responsible eastern Africa.
结果被紧急遣返回国 The con zapped his recall YF. Emergency repatriation.
要知道不接种疫苗就来非洲，等于自杀来了 It should be suicidal to come without its vaccines.
我的意思不是给你讲科普知识啊 But I teach you anything.
哦，你已经把肉都吃完啦 You have already finished.
嗯, 是呀,我很喜欢吃 Well, yeah, I love it.
给，我把羊眼给你吧, Take the eye goat there,
我看着它，有被监视的感觉 哦，不，不，不! 来，来，吃吧! I have the feeling of being watched. Oh no!
快吃吧，咱们之间不用这么客气! No fuss us!
不好意思啊，我忍不住想跳舞了 Sorry, it's stronger than me.
抱歉 Sorry.
唱够啦?我可以继续讲了吗? I continue?
是是，你继续 Yes, you can.
反正她的计划开始实施了，约翰伊芙上钩了 The strategy took good. Jean-Yves had bitten hook.
但是最困难的是，抓的牢靠 The hardest part was to bring fish.
我能问你个私人问题吗? 当然可以 I have an indiscreet question. Go ahead.
你上一段恋情是什么时候? When was your last love story?
噢，12年 12 years.
我擦! 都12年啦? Holy cow! It's been 12 years?
不, 是我12岁的时候 桑德莉娜 No, I was 12 years old. Sandrine.
但是后来有过2-3次艳遇 不过都是徒劳的，没什么结果 Since I had 2-3 adventures but I feel that there is nothing digging.
那是因为人们总是要求太高，太现实了 This is because we are too demanding too full, too real.
确实，一语中的 Exactly.
你呢? And you?
我, 没有, 没人要, 至今单身 Me, nothing, no one, I am alone.
因为我前不久刚被人甩了 But recently, I am troubled by someone.
是啊, 这是什么时候的事儿啊? 今天早晨 Really, since when? This morning.
怎么可能啊? 看，是个教堂! How so? A church!
真美啊 我们去看看? It is superb. Shall we?
真漂亮啊，不是吗? 是，不过不如圣彼得堡教堂漂亮 That's wonderful, is not it? It's not Saint-Petersburg ...
嘘嘘嘘嘘! Shhh!
约翰伊芙 Jean-Yves
我现在想做件事儿，之前我自己都没料到，瞬间闪现的主意 I was not expecting 5 ': that, it fell on me.
你可以把这个称之为魔法 You can call it a twist of fate
或者命运 or fate.
现在 But here ...
我要做的也许是我生命中最大的错误 I am about maybe make a big mistake.
但如果不这么做，也许我悔恨终身 But I still want to not do it.
今早醒来，我就不再是原来的我了 Since this morning, I'm different.
你让我意乱情迷呀！所以现在，约翰伊芙 You whack me. So here, Jean-Yves
你愿意 哦，下午13:37分! do you accept ... Oh, 1:37 p.m.!
怎么了? What it is it?
呃，我要去乞力马扎罗了 Well, I'm going to Kilimanjaro.
如果你愿意跟我一起去, 我 我 If you ever want to come with me, it ... that ...
我会很高兴的 I'd like that.
真的么? Really?
从事旅游业是你一直以来的愿望吗? 也不全是 You always wanted to make this work? Not at all.
我是个作家 I'm a writer.
不过作家这工作养活不了我自己 But it's not fill the bowl.
你写书是关于什么的? 儿童读物 Books on? For children.
不过我不想拿这些来烦你 But I will not bother with it.
OK, 真是好极了 OK, Super 1
好吧，这是关于贝奇一家的历险记，毛茸茸的贝奇们 So, this is the adventure of Beurky's small hairballs
与凶狠高大的爱高作斗争的故事 struggling against Arkos ...
与凶狠高大的爱高作斗争的故事 The cruel Arkos,
他是古丽王国的邪恶王子, the evil prince the kingdom of Grull,
故事发生在一个魔幻的森林里, all in a magical forest. It will
我还给故事配了插图，为拍成动画片做准备 听起来很有趣，不过 maybe a cartoon. Great, but ...
抱歉, 有件事儿我一直想不通?你刚才在教堂里想做些什么？ Excuse me, but it bothers me. You made me what in the church?
嗯，你换位思考下 Put yourself on me.
今早，我遇到了一生中见过的最漂亮的女人， 虽然一开始她对我很冷淡 I met a gorgeous woman. First, it sends me off.
不过这并不令我惊讶，我经常遇到这种事儿 Normal hitherto it happens every day.
可是4个小时以后, Four hours later,
在她眼中，我成了上帝 I get his eyes a living god.
这让我有点儿困惑 你能给我解释一下吗? I'm missing something. Would you explain?
别了, 你还是忘了这事儿吧 No, but ... forget.
我只是有点儿生闷气 I packed alone.
哦，不, 难道你不是单身 No, but you're not alone.
I我觉得这样做不妥? It is not very wise, though?
我自己开车走这条路时，绝对不会停车的 When I take this route, I never stop me.
相信我，这条路我长走 放松点吧，我向你保证，你不会后悔来这里 However, it often happens to me. Relax, you will not regret it.
济度说了，没见过这个，就等于没来过肯尼亚 According Guytou, if you do not see it, this is not the time to come.
这边 OK. This is the.
谢了 Thank you.
太美了 It's beautiful.
伊莎贝拉? 嗯 Isabelle? Yes.
我能懂，我也一样 I know, as before
面对如此景色，激动得说不出话 Beauty, I remain silent.
狮子 A lion.
有狮子 狮子 A lion ... lion.
哦 哦，该死! Howl Oh damn!
不，不，不! No, no, no!
伊莎贝拉! 伊莎贝拉! Isabelle! Isabelle!
面对野兽，最不该做的就是背对着它 It is important not to turn his back.
我不想死 伊莎贝拉，伊莎贝拉，听我说 I do not wanna die. Isabelle, listen to me.
要面对它,不要怕它，告诉它你并不怕它 We must face the challenge, show her that you're not afraid.
我在BBC的纪录片上看到的 真的，BBC教的 I saw it on the BBC. The BBC is very serious.
别担心 Do not worry.
我不想死 嘘! I do not wanna die. Shh!
我们要驯服它，就像一只大猫而已 你瞧 We must tame the beast, it's just a big kitten.
不，不,走开 它懂德语 Nein nein, weg It knew German.
因为在马戏团，都是用德语驯服动物的 It should speak German as in circuses.
走开，走开 Weg, weg.
哦，该死! 怎么了? Oh damn! What?
伊莎贝拉,伊莎贝拉，第二个办法, Isabella, the second solution,
就是装死，然后等它离开 this is to the death and wait.
离开!离开 Raus! Raus
太令人难以置信了!我快被吓死了 It's amazing! I got the fright of my life.
你瞧，你瞧，如果你跑掉的话 You see, if I had left you run ...
难道你不怕吗? You're not freaked out, you?
不怕啊，当然不怕 好吧，随你 No, I swear. That's it.
真的不怕啊，好吧，有那么点儿胆怯行不行 Honestly no, I doubted a little a while, but fear not.
真的 I swear.
刚我看到它的时候 Ouand I saw ...
走吧 怎么啦? It must go. What is he?
等等我 Wait for me.
别担心，这不是动物，是 是汽车启动的声音 Do not worry, it's not an animal, just a car starting.
你没拿车钥匙吗? You left the keys Contact on?
是啊 Affirmative. Exasperated sigh
现在最重要的是避免脱水 The most important is to avoid dehydration.
以前我在泰加森林迷路了，是树叶救了我的命 I have already lost in the taiga the leaves have saved my life.
就这个，给 Here, look.
给 谢了 Want. Thank you.
你错了, 这东西可是充满水分的 You're wrong, it's full of water.
哦，妈的, 太苦了! Oh damn, that is bitter!
最好能找到大象的便便 The ideal would be an elephant dung.
从便便里面能挤出水分来，好吧，这的确很臭很恶心， The juice is pressed. It's a bit disgusting,
但是它富含矿物质,水牛的便便也可以 but it is full of minerals, like buffalo dung,
不过斑马的，就小得不得了 but not zebras, too small.
想干懒似的，没任何 闭嘴吧! Looks like olives. Shut up!
求你了? 让我安静会儿 Please? T! Two seconds.
伊莎，你只是有点儿晒过头了，没事儿的 Isa, you take too much sun, that's all.
别担心了，再有3个小时，我们就能到乞力马扎罗山下了 We will soon be at the foot of Kilimanjaro.
那边可是旅游景点 And it is very touristy.
指导错误! Erratum!
晚间景点儿的人流量十分稀少 In the evening, the sights are less popular than day.
完毕 Over.
谢谢 Thank you.
我们本该住在五星级酒店的 这儿有成千上万的星星 We could be in a hotel 5 stars, it has the billions.
不，约翰伊芙 No, Jean-Yves.
求你了,别提这个词吧 I beg you, not this sentence.
呃，起码现在不要提，我实在没力气了 No, I can not, I have no strength.
看，那是大熊星座 Look, the Big Dipper.
不是 No.
是啊!就是大熊星座 If Ben! If so, this is the Big Dipper.
不，是仙女座 No, Andromeda.
大熊星座是那个 The Big Dipper is.
仙后座 Cassiopeia
半人马座，飞马座，猎户座 Centaur, Pegasus, Orion.
不错啊! Well!
没什么可赞的 I have no credit.
我父亲曾在慕尼黑附近的宇航中心工作 My father worked at the space center Germany near Munich.
他是宇航员? 不，完全不是 He was an astronaut. No, not at all, but ...
他甚至没出过他的办公室 但是他狂爱天文学 It is never out of his office, but he loved it.
当我们回到法国的时候，我才五岁 When we got back to France, I was 5 years
他为我在树上盖了个小木屋 he gave me a cabin in the trees.
我们命名为观测中心 It was called the observation center.
小木屋很棒，里面还装了一台 比我高一倍的天文望远镜 It was great. He had installed a huge telescope.
我们整晚都在那里 We spent the whole night
观测星星 stargazing.
他向我保证 总有一天会带我去月亮上的 He promised me that one day, we go to the moon.
后来，他走了 Then he left.
约翰伊芙? Jean-Yves?
有人吗? Anybody?
没有人 嘿! It is breathless. Hey!
大懒虫，好点儿了没? It gets better, marmot?
好多了 你昨晚那样吓到我了 Yes, it will. You scared me.
我为你准备好了回内罗毕的事儿 I have arranged your repatriation of Nairobi.
安托坎托 Antokokto.
这边儿 Come here.
安托坎托, 在马萨伊语里的意思就是摩托车? 瞧，来得正是时候 Antokokto, it means moped in Maasai. That's good, right?
来吧，上车! Come on!
安托坎托，这是伊莎贝拉! Antokokto Isabelle!
上车吧，他会带你去酒店的 我今晚回去 Monte! It brings you back to the hotel. I'll see you tonight.
什么?你不和我一起吗? You do not come?
我也想，不过我得留下来参加婚礼 Sorry, I have to stay for marriage.
什么婚礼? What is marriage?
村长今天嫁女儿 The village chief marries his daughter.
白人是很难有机会参加的 Whites normally do not attend.
通过这事儿我能写一篇很好的文章 你这是做什么? It will make a beautiful paper. What are you doing?
我想和你一起留下 I want to stay with you.
真的? Really?
我讨厌坐摩托车 哦! I do not like motorcycles. Ah!
安托坎托, 她不喜欢摩托 Antokokto, it is not very bike.
关于马萨伊的婚礼细节! Some details Masai on marriage '!
首先新郎, At first, future husband,
在村中男人们的鼓励下，将走进 encouraged by the men of the village, will join
婚房 the bridal hut.
完毕 Over.
这个古老的传统 Although qu'ancestrale this tradition
并未消失，实际上, is not less modern. In fact,
是由新娘来决定 woman decides to join or not
是否进入婚房来见新郎 her future husband in the hut.
是的，的确如此 Yes, exactly ...
我说 "完毕"了吗? Did I say "over"?
没有啊 那就请你不要出声 Then, silence, please.
如果她穿好了“欧西亚”, If she recovers orcila,
就是传统的婚礼服装 ceremonial dress bridal
并走进婚房的话, and it disappears I turn in the hut,
婚礼便在村民的歌声中生效了 marriage is validated in the songs of the villagers.
完毕 Over.
我好像把外套忘在屋子里了? 你能帮我拿一下吗? I forgot my jacket in the hut. You bring him back to me?
呃，你好像没穿外套呀! Uh, you had not vest!
约翰伊芙，约翰伊芙，约翰伊芙 Jean-Yves Jean-Yves Jean-Yves.
好耶 Yeah ...
等等，等等，等等 Wait, wait, wait ...
你知道自己在做什么吗? Do you realize of what we do lei?
知道 Yes.
妈的，真是个衰人! 嘿，哦! Damn, what a slut! Oh oh!
抱歉，但是她太过分了 她是怎么对待这个可怜的男人的 Sorry, it's horrible how it treats the poor guy.
她的确不是个循规蹈矩的人 如果你们是来 It was not super legit. My daughter
侮辱我女儿的,那我就不接着讲了 is insulted, I stop.
别，你不讲就可惜了 It would be a shame.
索朗! 我总要去下厕所吧 Solange! I go to the bathroom.
我喜欢我岳母, 只可惜她太抠门了 I love my mother, even if it is stingy.
帕特里克! 你会看到礼物的! Patrick! You will see the gifts!
去吧火鸡端来好吗! Bring the turkey.
可以! Of course!
咋样? 哦了!什么哦了? So? This is good!
我结婚了 I'm married.
好耶! 还行! Yes! Come on, it's good.
婚礼如何? How was it?
很特别，我会告诉你的 Special, I'll tell you.
亲爱的! 伊莎! My love! Isa!
别回头 哟呵! Do not turn. Woah!
亲爱的，你在做什么? What are you doing?
我和你说了，我要办件事儿 Well, you know, I have something ...
有很重要的事儿，要和我妹妹去办 major I set with my sister.
我已经迟到了 我的小姨子 Is pressed. My sister in law.
我叫科琳娜! 幸会! Corinne! Magic!
这是约翰伊芙 她丈夫 Jean-Yves. Her husband.
好了，介绍完了，再见吧 哎，嘿! Yes, it will. Well, hello!
我们刚到，你就要走? 我和你说了，我有个约会 You leave me already? Due to the appointment.
我已经迟到了 那我们在你家碰头吧? I'm late. We'll see you at home?
好的，就这样 好极了! Okay, we did it. Super!
可我没有你家地址啊? And your address?
我给你打电话呀 I'll call you.
你没我的号码 You're not my number.
我给你打电话? 什么? I call you? What?
怎么打给我啊? 等等! How? Wait!
该死, 你做到了! 我就知道你能行 Damn, you did! I knew it would work.
不过把你老公带来，可不在我的计划之内啊 行了，他不是我老公 But the husband had not come back. That's not my husband.
我们没有举行传统的婚礼 那你确定婚姻有效吗? The wedding was special. This account?
有效，虽然是马萨伊人的婚礼 但是有效 Yes, it is a Masai wedding but it counts.
好吧，你还活着，这才是最主要的 You're free, this is the main thing.
怎么了，不对吗? Ben what, it will not?
不，不，没事 Yes, yes.
对了，你和皮埃尔的婚礼， About your marriage with Peter,
帕特里克很想负责婚礼的音乐 Patrick insists to manage the music.
到时再说吧 We'll see.
他在研究伍兹的音乐反正他的话我传达到了啊 He bump Voulzy here is the info is passed.
要不要让他试试，随你 You can do what you want.
牛排，还是鱼排? Veal, or fish?
不，我想换一下 能看下餐牌吗? No, I'll change. Can I?
嗯，我要点 So, I'll take ...
兔肉 the rabbit.
呃，那就兔肉吧!我也一样, 我也换个口味 Well, the rabbit! Me too, hey, you live only once.
两份兔肉谢了，帕斯卡 Two rabbits. Thank you, Pascal.
还好吗? 成了，都解决了 So what? Everything is set.
那么快? 3天他们就治好了她的抑郁症? They cured her depression in 3 days?
哪个? Who?
哦!科琳娜，没事儿，他一切都好 Oh! Corinne, no, everything's fine.
绝了，她恢复得很快! It's amazing what cured!
诊所怎样? And the firm?
没什么特别 哦，对了，妮萨女士， Nothing special. Finally, if Mrs. Nizard there, obviously
糟透了，她都第四次化脓了 it is a disaster. Abscess on the 4th.
所以我该 怎办? I I have ... What?
没什么, 我很幸福 Nothing, I'm happy.
我很庆幸我在这里 即将和你步入婚姻殿堂 Happy to be and get married.
我觉得很幸福 I'm happy.
我也是，我也很幸福 Me too, I'm happy.
今天不是周五 那又怎样? It is not Friday. So what?
我们今天都改吃兔肉了，不是吗? We took the rabbit, right?
太棒了! Yes!
太棒了! 太棒了! Oh yes! Oh yes!
快去，可可，打败他们 Come on, Coco, trapping them.
快呀! 快呀!快呀! Come on! Come on!
不错，你送的戒指很赞啊!跟你比， 科琳娜觉得我是个超级吝啬鬼 Super, the ring! Because of you, I go for a cheapskate.
确实，有的男人是很有品味 对啊，有些男人有品位 They are those who have class. Yeah, that's true.
你们的造人计划进展如何呀? 在努力 How's it going, baby? It bump.
嗯，你多大了，49? Um, how old are you now, 49?
-49? 我43啦 -49? 43.
哦！你还真勇敢，哥们儿! Oh yeah! You are brave, buddy!
我才30，每天早晨5点就得起床 给孩子端屎，端尿，喂饭 Already I was 30 years, the sunrises at 05h in the morning to pee, poop and feed,
已经很累了，就更别提你那个岁数的人了 it's hard, but not to mention your age ...
等孩子到了青春期就更累 你得有，差不多60岁了? It will be worse adolescence. You get what, 60 years minimum?
你儿子会恨你, 他不学习，嗑药， 离家出走，也许还想要辆摩托车 Your son hates you, drugs, runaways, the scooter ...
"爸爸，我想要辆小摩托 " "Dad, I want a scooter. "
"这辈子都别想" 然后你会焦虑 "Not on your life." Anxieties ...
算了，你也别想那么多了 But do not think about it, you.
你们想要小孩，非常好，那就努力呗 You want a child, great, go for it.
谢谢提醒，真的 Thank you, huh.
别客气 But nothing.
好耶 好什么好! Yes. That's not true.
一个都没中! Not a keel!
我早跟你说过了 你的手指必须跟那些瓶子对齐 Again, your fingers must be aligned with the pins.
哎哟 怎么了? Way, in ... What?
看第14频道 Track 14.
哦，不是吧! Oh no!
没事吧? Gava?
没事儿我好渴，我去找点儿喝的 Yes ... I super thirst I'll get something to drink.
你来这儿做什么? What are you doing here?
我跑遍了大巴黎所有的保龄球馆 I did all the bowling of Ile-de-France.
话说塞纳河周边的，相比之下干净多了 There has better elsewhere.
你不能突然就这么出现了 You can not land unexpectedly.
你撒谎，你根本不是单身? You lied to me. You're not single?
对，我不是单身 No, it's true.
我刚才一直在观察你们，我发现你不再爱他了 I heard you correctly observed. You love him more.
你不知道怎么跟他分手, You do not know how to break,
所以你决定去了肯尼亚, 在那里我们 相遇并且一见钟情，我们是爱情的奇迹 then you go to Kenya, you meet me and you crack the miracle of love.
然后你回来巴黎 You go back to Paris ...
你不敢跟他坦白 你已经遇到命中注定的男人? How to tell him you've met your soul mate?
这在清楚不过了 This is clear.
对，对 确实是这样子，确实 Yeah, yeah ... Exactly, exactly.
那你得给我点儿时间 I have to tell him gently.
好吧，我在车里等你 OK, I'm waiting to parking.
别，别，别! No, no, no!
你得多给我点儿时间 I I need a little more time.
哦当然，你说得对，抱歉 Of course, I'm sorry.
你慢慢来 他看起来比较脆弱 Take your time ... it looks fragile.
咋样? So?
他是真的秀逗了 This is sick.
早 早 Hello. Hello.
早啊，卡迪亚 早，伊莎 Hello, Katya. Hello, Isa.
开始工作喽? So?
伊莎，有个病人在等你 看起来像是急诊 You have a patient an emergency visibly.
贝尔蒂埃先生 A certain Mr. Berthier.
如果你需要的话，我可以接手 不用，没事儿 I can take it. No, it's good.
不是吧，你秀逗了吧! No, but you're sick!
诊所很不错嘛，挺赚钱的吧 Not bad I say, it smells pépètes.
我是想给你一个惊喜 不过你得先带我参观下诊所 I have a surprise, but let me see before.
你答应过，给我时间去告诉他的 You were supposed to give me time.
不了，我仔细考虑了 还是由我转告他比较好 I've been thinking, is better
而不是 不行! if I say so. No!
是，是 我经常处于像他一样的位置 Yes, yes, I have often been his place.
我更理解他 哦，不! I better understood. Oh no!
看着 Yes
不! No!
哦，不! Scream.
伊莎，没事儿吧? Fine, Isa?
没，没事儿, 很好 Yeah, yeah, okay.
伊莎，你这样搞可不好 It is wrong to react that way.
我无所谓，这么躺着我也可以告诉他 Regardless, I can tell him to.
牙医先生?牙医先生! 嘘! Mr dentist. Shh!
伊莎，不! Isa, no!
嘘，你给我闭嘴! Muffled cries Shh, you shut up!
牙医先... Mr. den ...
伊莎! 闭嘴 Isa! Shut up.
伊莎，没事儿吧? Fine, Isa?
出什么事儿了? What does he?
怎么啦? Will it?
嗯，非常棒! Um, great!
真的? 真没事儿 Really? Grave.
哦，我的天! Oh my God!
怎么了? What it is it?
咦? 不，没什么 Huh? No, nothing.
真没什么，约翰伊芙 It's nothing, nothing. Jean-Yves ...
嗯? Huh?
听我说 好 Listen to me. Yeah.
你在听我说吗? 嗯 Are you listening? Yeah.
我们在肯尼亚度过了非常难忘的美好时光 但是我们结束了! We had a great time Kenya, but is stopped.
哦! 但是我爱你呀! Oh! But I love you!
你也许吧，但是我不爱你呀 You may be but I do not love you.
我永远不会爱上你的 I will love you forever.
你听清了吗? 明白了 It is OK? OK.
好，从今天开始, 我不想再见到你了 Starting today, I never want to see you.
你别再来打扰我的生活，好吗? 好吧 You leave me alone, okay? Okay.
一切都会好起来的 It's okay.
你还要预约下次吗? An upcoming appointment?
再见 再见 Goodbye. Goodbye.
婚礼日期? 5月15日 Date of the ceremony? May 15.
是不是这天人数满了? 请稍等 Is complete? One second.
我们也不一定非在这一天办事儿 稍等 It is not 5 ': a near day. Wait.
我搞不懂了 有什么问题吗? I do not understand. A problem?
你已经结婚了啊! You're already married.
什么? Excuse me?
这里显示已婚 Already married.
啊！不是吧,肯定搞错了 Oh no, I think there was error.
不可能啊，这里不会错的 Impossible.
你知道找个车位有多难!知道 你要去哪儿呀? I struggled 5 ': park me. Where are you going?
不用我签字吗? I have to sign something?
不用!只要其中一个签字就好了 Nope!
只要其中一个签字就好了 A signature is sufficient.
你把车停哪了? 那儿 I'm parked it: Netherlands. There has
的确是有结婚证明的，虽然是马萨伊婚礼 不过是在巴黎18去的区政府登记的 marriage contract, Masai certainly but recorded at the mayor of the 18th
是由马克-贝尔蒂埃先生登记的 应该是他哥哥 by Marc Berthier his brother apparently.
是，是，确实显示已婚 这不可能啊! You are married. That's not true!
怎么了? What?
真的很搞，因为根据当地习俗， 这张羊皮结婚证上画着 It's funny, according to the contract signed this goatskin
你有权获得3块金币，和一间草房 you right to receive 3 gold coins, a hut
和画儿上，那只羊的半升羊尿 and 1/2 liter of urine said goat.
如果他没给你，我可以帮你要回来 If you are not provided, I can get.
你也觉得挺好笑，是吧? It amuses thee?
不，不好意思啊 律师大人，我姐姐需要你的帮助 No, sorry. Serge, my sister needs you.
是是，当然，抱歉啊 Yes, of course, sorry.
呃，所有这些都是违法的 我们很容易就能证明 Uh, this is all completely illegal. It is easy to prove.
太棒了，就这么做 Wow, you do that. A procedure
如果加急处理差不多小半年时间吧，这案子就能解决 accelerated solve it in a year.
可是我一个月后就要结婚呀! 不过当然了, I'm getting married in a month. Of course,
如果你能说服他签订双方都认可的离婚协议, if he signs a divorce by mutual consent,
这问题就立刻 it becomes immediately.
不过鉴于你所述的情况 But given the man ...
请把文件给我 唉，确实，他倒霉透了 Give me the paper. She's in trouble.
但是这其中有个环节，我不是很明白， 是谁让这场婚姻生效的?因为一个人领证是办不到的 I do not understand. Which validated marriage? It's not like that.
我们后来才知道,是他哥哥， 就是那个有名的马克-贝尔蒂埃先生 We realized after his brother, Marc Berthier, was working
他在巴黎市政府的，公民身份管理处工作 He worked the civil status of the city of Paris.
所以算他们真的结婚了! So they were well married!
哦，对! 千真万确 Oh yeah! Completely.
她当时气坏了， 一分钟都没耽误，就开始行动 She was furious. He had to go quickly
首先得让皮埃尔失去警惕 and start by Pierre asleep.
这并不难做到 It was easy, that.
不，当然很难 Not really.
我当时在马拉喀什举办了一个 告别年轻女孩生活的仪式 I organized a fake funeral life girl in Marrakech.
而我姐姐， 她当时简直歇斯底里，痛苦难过 My sister was furious, hysterical.
几乎把我吓坏了 It almost made me afraid.
约翰伊芙想成为她的丈夫,而她应该是他老婆 Jean-Yves was her husband, she would be his wife.
但是他不知道的是 她将让他过着地狱般的生活 He knew she would him through hell.
他将哀求我离婚 He'll beg me to divorce.
准备些暖和的厚衣服 Some hot vêternents.
给，你的离婚协议 谢谢,姑娘们 The divorce agreement. Thank you.
嗨，去哪! Hi! Hugs.
去莫斯科一周 I will drop you on seven. Moscow.
所有莫斯科人都知道 叶利谢耶夫食品杂货城 All Muscovites know the grocery Eleseevskii.
但是这座俄罗斯美食殿堂里 最好的美食， But the best kept secret This gourmet temple
不是其它的，而是甜点 it's baking.
在这里，迷人的伊莲娜女士制作着 全莫斯科最美味的小馅饼, The lovely Irina manufactures the best perogies in the city,
一直被模仿，从未被超越过 完毕 often imitated but never equaled. Over.
嗯! Hum!
约翰伊芙! Jean-Yves!
伊莲娜, 你的小馅儿饼是真正的诗篇 Irina, your perogies are a real poem.
早啊 Hello.
伊莲娜，这是伊莎贝拉 Irina, I present you Isabelle.
他妻子 His wife.
你是怎么找到我的? How'd you find me?
爱的奇迹呗 The miracle of love.
自从我在诊所开的那个小玩笑, Since my little joke in the office,
我就无法停止对你的思念 I have not stopped thinking you.
我确实需要时间，但是 It took me a while but ...
我最终明白了自己内心真正的感受 I finally understood the nature my feelings.
我想再和你碰碰运气 I want to try my luck with you
如果你同意的话 If you're okay.
你的那个牙医男，怎么处理呀? And your dentist?
哦，分开了我们根本不可能了 It's over. It was no longer possible.
不过必须得承认 It must be said that ...
我不是一个很好相处的人 I'm not easy, easy going.
的确, 但是， 你看咱俩应该是天造地设的一对儿 Yes, but we we are made for each other.
正确 Exactly.
瞧，就是那里! Here it is!
那儿吗? 对呀 What now? Yeah.
啊! 这也太难看了! Ah! It's very ugly!
对，但这里是市中心呀 Yes, but it is central.
等等，等等! 怎么了? 怎么了? Wait, wait! What? What?
啊哦 Ouch !
瞧，这房子是小了点儿 不过温暖舒适 Well, it's small, but it's cozy.
你觉得如何? 坦白说吗? You think what? Honestly?
当然了! 简直太糟了 Of course! This is terrible.
注意了, 你现在有权利重新装饰这里的一切 Attention, you carte blanche to redecorate.
因为这是我们俩的家了 This is our home now.
哎呦， 你吃馅饼什么馅儿的? Ouch, what was your puff?
菠菜馅儿啊 你确定? Spinach. Are you sure?
那你收拾下,我去煮咖啡 Make yourself, I'll make coffee.
你收集老鼠吗? 不是! You collect rats? No!
这是贝奇一家，是动画片里的人物 This is the Beurky's for the cartoon.
我给你讲过的啊 Air disgusted I told you.
我很惊讶能在莫斯科见到你 但是很开心你来找我 I was suprised to see you in Moscow. But I'm glad you're here.
我当时还担心 我生效了我们的婚姻，你因此而恨我 I'm afraid you veuilles to validate the marriage.
但现在看来，我做对了吧? But I'm done, right?
哦，我靠! Oh damn!
哦，我靠! 泼妇啊! Oh damn! What a bitch!
抱歉，我一直都特别笨手笨脚的 I'm so clumsy, sorry.
我总是破坏一切 都没办法和别人一起生活 I break all I was unbearable.
没事儿，没事儿，我跟你保证 It's nothing, it's nothing, I assure you.
欢迎来到这座美丽的城市，我的小猫咪! The city of wonders, kitten!
小猫咪是绰号! 这是我和我妹妹的一个游戏 每次我们都相互起绰号 Kitten nickname! A game with my sister when we are given a nickname.
太有趣了 是啊! It's fun. Yeah!
天哪，真没办法摆脱这个油瓶子了吗! But what a ball!
你是真傻还是假傻啊? It is stupid or he is stupid?
让我说什么好呢，他看不懂那些暗示嘛 也根本不明白我姐姐不想跟他在一起 Well, he did not understand she did not want him.
对啊，爱情是盲目的 孩子是淘气的 Love is blind. And child bohemian.
爱情是一束紫罗兰 爱情 从未见过 Love is a bouquet of violets. Love ...
说晚了，你输了 Too late, you lose.
就这样啦? That's it!
对于我姐姐来说，这很清楚 她得尽最大所能，快速处理这件事儿 For her, it was clear. He had to go second.
伊莎，你用了多少洗发水啊？ 怎么都用完啦? Currently more shampoo, What did you do with it?
伊莎? Isa?
我给你我的? 好的 I give you mine? Yeah.
谢啦 别客气 Thank you. Nothing.
你不穿衣服吗? You're not dressed?
怎么了? What does he?
什么，怎么了? What, what is he?
我实在抱歉 I'm really sorry.
我不知道自己怎么会搞混了洗发水和脱毛膏 I do not know how I could be confused.
别笑了 Stop smiling.
你该生气的! You have to be super pissed!
你的植发可是花了一大笔钱 Your implants have cost you a fortune.
或许你的头发再也张不出来啦 这全是我的错 It may not grow back, this is all fault because of me.
当然不是，它会长出来的,即使长不出来，也没关系 But if, and if it does not reject, it does not matter.
我知道不是因为我的头发，你才决定跟我在一起 而是因为这里 请相信我的心不会被拔毛 I know you're not with me for that, but why. And that is not pluck.
冈希夫! Gum!
这是谁呀? Who is it?
是孤独行星出版社的罗曼， It is Roman Lonely Planet and Philippe
艾谢特出版社的菲利浦 都是竞争伙伴 of Hachette, competitors.
够帅小伙儿啊 They are beautiful kids.
哦，没事儿的! Oh, okay!
法国大使，我来引荐下 Ambassador of France! I'll introduce you.
打扰了! Sorry!
约翰伊芙 大使先生 Jean-Yves. Mr. Ambassador.
我向你介绍我的夫人 伊莎贝拉-贝尔蒂埃 This is my wife, Isabelle Berthier.
晚上好 保罗-吉农先生，法国驻俄罗斯大使 Good evening. Mr. Paul Guignou Ambassador of France.
哦，不好意思，这位是大使夫人，爱丽丝女士 Oh sorry, his wife, Alice.
晚上好 卡特里娜，和瓦利欧娜娃 Good evening. Catarina and Vladimir Ulyanov.
幸会 哦 Nice. Oh!
安德里-佩托斯基，我的老朋友，他在这儿工作 And my old friend Andrei Petrovski it makes him nothing.
就是白吃白喝的 This is a freeloader.
亲爱的约翰伊芙， 之前你让我们领略到了你的写作风采, My dear Jean-Yves you régaliez us with your writings,
从今往后，我们的眼睛也会被你吸引 also enchant our eyes
谢谢 Now. Thank you.
来，跟大家说说 Tell us.
这个傻小子是怎么追到大美女的? How stupid seduced beautiful?
个人隐私，暂时保密 Private property, unauthorized entry.
晚上好，女士们，先生们 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
谢谢 Thank you.
约翰伊芙总是太腼腆, Jean-Yves is modest,
不过你就跟我们老实说吧 好吧，因为是你们，我才说的哦 but you can tell us. Good.
简单来说吧，几年前，我在站街 A few years ago, I did the sidewalk.
后来我厌倦了那种生活 I got tired.
所以我就上网注册了交友网站 So I threw myself into the net.
网友付费然后给我一些指令，比如 The user pays and gives the orders.
"模仿成母山羊"或者"当我是女人" "Imitate the goat" "Call me a fagot"
"把这个插进菊花里"，总之就是老三样什么的 "Put it in your ass" routine ...
直到有一天, Then one day,
约翰伊芙，上网联系了我 Jean-Yves connects.
他就想黑暗中的一缕阳光 A ray of sunshine.
但问题是他有点儿早泄, The problem is it is premature ejaculation,
所以他经常来 So he returned
每天来个4-5次 4 or 5 times daily.
我们之间就产生了友谊 后来4年后，我们决定在一起 But it was befriended and after 4 years, we decided to meet.
就是这样了! 不，不是这样子 That's it! No, that's not it.
根本不是这样的,不是这样的 That's not it at all, not at all.
不是，不 This is not ... Peal of laughter
好了，这只是个玩笑啦 Okay, it was a joke.
哈哈哈哈，是个小幽默 This is humor.
嘿，伊高 Hi, Igor.
你好，我马上来 Hello. I'll be right there.
听着，伊莎贝拉 Listen, Isabelle.
我知道你的小把戏 I I read in your little game
在我身上不起作用，宝贝儿 I walk not kitten.
宝贝儿是个昵称 Kitten-nickname.
伊莎贝拉,你刚才的那些恶搞, Isabelle, all your escapades there
都只是你的恐惧,你恐惧，你害怕，这很正常 this is fear, you flogged, you tags, this is normal.
开始过二人生活，直到死亡, 的确很恐怖 Embark on a life together until death, it's creepy.
对! Yeah!
但是，见鬼，这样的生活多美好啊! But damn, it's beautiful!
所以，放松点儿，如释重负 So lighten up, guard down.
咋样?去收获爱情 Huh? Gather the rose.
诺卡伊高-贝维驰酒馆， Cabaret Notchka Igor Petrovich
是时尚酒馆的代名词 cabaret is a synonymous with fashion ...
怎么 哦，不是吧! What ... Oh no!
不, 伊高! No, Igor!
约翰伊芙-贝蒂耶 ... Jean-Yves Berthier.
音乐! 不，不，不! Music! No, no, no!
别，别, 我不去 No, stop.
不，不，别，别! No, no, no, no!
喂，可可，是我, 哦不，情况很糟 Coco, it's me, no it will not.
根本行不通，彻底失败了 Nothing works, it is a fiasco.
我做了些，以前做不来的事情, I did things I do not imagine I can,
我故意装成最下流的女人， I behave as the worst bitches
而他却像拉布拉多犬一样，深情地望着我 And he looks at me with her eyes Labrador.
让我白费劲了，真的，我保证 It makes me almost worth it. If so, I assure you.
当然没有，绝对， 他绝对不会在离婚协议上签字的 Ever, sign me This paper divorce, never.
他现在在做什么? It does what now?
我再打给你吧 I'll call you.
这茶是高加索特产，很好喝 This tea is a specialty Caucasus is very good.
要加汤吗? 一般是不加 Do you want sugar? Normally, it is drunk without.
伊莎贝拉? Isabelle?
伊莎? Isa?
伊莎贝拉? Isabelle?
当然没有 ! No !
绝对，绝对，他绝对不会在离婚协议上签字的 He never sign me This paper divorce, never.
怎么? What there
我做了些，以前做不来的事情, I've done things I do not feel able.
我故意装成最下流的女人， I behave as the worst bitches.
而他却像拉布拉多犬一样，深情地望着我 And he looks at me Labrador with his eyes.
这样我白费劲了，真的，我保证 It makes me almost of the sentence, if so, I assure you.
当然没有，绝对，绝对， 他绝对不会在离婚协议上签字的 No, never, he will sign me this paper divorce, never.
他现在在做什么? What is he doing?
怎么了? 嘘! What? Shh!
好的，等一下 Okay, two seconds.
好了，约翰伊芙 自从昨晚，他就非要让我介绍你 Jean-Yves He insisted that I present.
理查德, 我“幻境”中的朋友 Richard, my "imaginary" friend.
当然了，对我来说，你是真实存在的 I know for me, you're real.
好了! Finally, veiled!
约翰伊芙, 我来介绍，这是理查德; 理查德，这是约翰伊芙好了，你开心了吧? Jean-Yves, I present to you Richard, Richard, Jean-Yves. Are you happy?
嘿，跟他打个招呼啊! Well, say hello to him.
嗨，理查德，你好吗? Hi Richard, how will you?
还行? Middle?
嗯，我明白 I understand.
嗯，真的，你想让我这么做? 好啊，如果这能让你开心的话 Huh? Really, you want me to do that? OK, if it makes you happy.
你干什么呀? But what do you do lei?
理查德让后我把果酱抹到脸上 Richard asked me to spread my jam.
我已经弄了，有趣吧? 住手，约翰伊芙，住手 Funny, is not it? Stop it.
拜托，别管我? Do you mind?
我跟理查德说话呢 I spoke with Richard, the.
嗯, 理查德? 是是 Yes, Richard? Yeah ...
还有这个，当然了，没问题 So yes, of course, do not worry.
这个，像这样吗?你瞧! The like that? Voila!
哦，该死，真烫啊! Oh damn, it's hot!
多好笑! But we have fun though!
约翰伊芙! Jean-Yves!
喔, 理查德? Yes, Richard?
我怎能相信像她这样的女孩 会对我这样的人感兴趣? How could I believe I liked him?
我也不知道，就这样发生了 也许是我比较笨吧，就是这样 I know, it's like this, I must be a little stupid.
哦，对了! Oh, by the way!
你会把这个给她 You will give him that.
这是份离婚协议书，我在她包里找到的 I I found a protocol divorce in her purse.
我已经签过字了 And I signed it.
再见了, 理查德! Hi, Richard!
约翰伊芙! Jean-Yves!
等等我! 约翰伊芙! Wait for me! Jean-Yves!
约翰伊芙, 你听我说，求你了! Jean-Yves, listen to me please? T.
你要干嘛? 你已经达到目的了 What do you want? You have your letter.
约翰伊芙 Jean-Yves.
我跟一个男人已经生活了10年 It's been 10 years I'm with a man.
一个月后，我就要嫁给他了 I married in a month.
只是在我的家族里 头婚从来都不会有好结果 But in my family, first marriage is never good.
这就意味着，我第一次结完婚 I had a first husband ...
然后会离婚 and divorce.
为什么是我? 我对我所做的一切感到抱歉 Why me? I'm sorry for everything.
当时我只顾及了自己 I thought s all mine.
其实，我当时也昏头了 And I do not know ...
你出现在一个错误的时间和错误的地点 You were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
你有权恨我 You can hate me.
约翰伊芙! 不是吧，该死的，见鬼，又是他们! Jean-Yves! No shit, not them!
正义先生正在找应召女郎? Mr. Integrity is the call girl?
干得不错，冈希夫! Bravo, Gum!
冈希夫，是昵称 Gum, nickname.
好了，再见! 不 Come on, hello! No.
等一下, 约翰伊芙, 听我解释啊 Wait, Jean-Yves, listen to me.
我并不想伤害你 I did not mean to hurt you.
你可真够特别的呀，你! You're special, you!
我还有24小时 It remains for me 24 hours.
我们一起度过吧? They spend together?
就在苏联战胜德国纳粹后不久 It's just after the victory the Soviet Union over Nazi Germany
斯大林就开始建设 Stalin launched construction of ...
七姐妹工程, Vyssotnyé Zdania,
也称作高楼工程 also called
实际上，在俄语中，这两种叫法都与 In Russian, the two names refer to the word
vyssoko，这个词在俄语中是“高”的意思 呃 vyssoko. It means "high" in ru ... Er ...
你是不是觉得有点儿无聊? 没有啊，这很有趣 I will do shit, right? Not at all.
不，不，我感觉到了，这挺无聊的 完全没有，请继续 If I feel. No, continues.
真的? 是啊 Really? Yeah.
一共建造了7座摩天大楼 但实际上要建8座 There are 7 skyscraper Stalin wanted to start 8
象征着首都有800年的历史 for 800 years of the capital.
这点儿，有点儿无聊 Lev is boring.
我就说嘛，你看吧! I knew it. Have you seen?
可你现在不能停下来 It is not your head.
为啥? Why?
如果布兰迪和索朗头婚， If Blandine was Solange first marriage
后来又和马瑟结婚 and she then married with Marcel
你爷爷是 艾克多一世 your grandfather is ... Hector 1.
你们家族的故事，挺好笑的! That's the family stories!
在贝蒂耶家族里，已经五代人了, With us the big toe is smaller than the second,
这有一些相同之处，不是吗? it's a bit like that, right?
嗯，哈 Hmm ... She giggles.
不好吗? It's not good?
不适合吗? 不适合 No, it's not suitable? Do not suitable.
等一下，还有另外一个 I have another one.
这跟我眼睛的颜色很搭 是啊! It goes well with my eyes. Oh yeah!
很好! 完美! Top! Perfect!
有范儿! Sublime!
你的玩小孩真是有些过分 You went there a bit much anyway.
我得植发，还得有层次 我知道 My implants, my shelf ... I know.
实在对不起 I'm sorry.
但是你也很执着 But you're also tough.
我知道这是我的问题，只要我遇到心动女生，就难以自拔 I know, as soon as a woman I like t, I get heavy.
真心的? Really?
来，带上这个试试 Here, try that one.
喜欢吗? 不错 Do you like it t? Yes.
送你吧 I offer.
谢谢 Thank you.
我想到一个脑筋急转弯儿 I have a riddle.
现在不是时候 This is not the time.
我知道，但是很好笑 I know, but it's funny.
俄罗斯最不走运的共产党员是谁? What is the Russian the less fortunate of the story?
不知道呀 就是他，宇航员加加林 I do not know. Ben him cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin.
他做了17次绕地飞行 最后还是死在了俄罗斯 Seventeen times around the Earth to fall in Russia.
嘘，嘘! Shh!
太搞笑了! No, seriously, stop it!
加加林是这个国家的英雄 Gagarin is a national hero here.
每年3月27日是俄罗斯全国哀悼日 Every year on March 27, is national mourning.
怎么了?不舒服吗? What it is it?
是的，事实上这是我第一次，忘了我爸的忌日 I forgot the anniversary the death of my father.
你是加加林的女儿? 不，当然不是! You're the girl of Gagarin? But no!
他也是在3月27日这天去世的 哦，对，我有点儿迟钝 He died on March 27 as well. Oh yeah, I'm stupid.
你父亲他是德国人 He was German and more.
你太年轻了，加加林在1968年就死了 And then you're too young Gagarin died in 1968.
你像你妈妈，还是像你爸爸? You want more than your mother or your father?
像我妈，我妈非常坦率，还很谨慎，我也有点儿这样子 My mother is very square, it leaves nothing to chance. I have a bit of that.
是很像吧，不是么? A lot, right?
是这样吗! Nice!
难道不是么? That's not true?
我希望自己也像爸爸，充满激情 I hope I have a little the passion of my father.
他非常有激情 Whoa! He was passionate ...
简直爱死我妈了 crazy mom.
不久，他就生病了，再后来就去世了 Then, the disease has prevailed.
我以为他们是离婚的? They have not divorced?
不，不是，他走先了 No, he's gone before ...
也从来没有带我去月球 and I was never taken on the Moon.
跟我来 干什么? Come with me. What?
来吧 Come on.
我们去哪儿? Where are we going?
你去了就知道了，虽然不是月球，也差不多了 It's not the moon, but it comes close.
那是什么啊? 跟我来吧 What? Come with me.
呃! 怎么了? Well! What?
绝对不行! 别啊，这是我能找到的最好的了 But never in my life! This is what I found best.
别害怕，这是俄罗斯飞机 很结实的 This is Russian It is solid.
哦，不要! 要得，来吧! Oh, no! If so, come on!
来吧! 不! Come on! No!
首先我们将垂直上升 We will first climb up vertical.
然后飞机将自由落体, Then the plane will steady freefall,
接着我们就会进入失重状态 and we will be weightless.
他在说什么? 没什么，没什么 What did he say? Nothing, nothing.
我们会漂浮多长时间? It will float how long?
差不多20秒吧 Approximately 20 seconds.
发生了什么事儿?有问题吗!你最好现在告诉我 It is a problem? Tell me now!
没事儿，一切顺利! No, no, everything's fine!
我们要做多少次旋转飞行? We will do how many loops?
30次 Thirty.
多少? 30次 How much? Thirty.
这是什么东东? What is it?
呕吐袋 To vomit.
什么? 有备无患 What? If.
哦，不，不，不! 我要下去 Oh, no, no! I want to get.
不要，不要! Niet! Niet!
不要! 哦，不! Niet! Oh no!
都没事吧? Are you okay?
没事，谢谢 Yes, thank you.
你行不? 可以，可以 How are you? Yes, yes.
真是太棒了!你喜欢吗? It was great! You like it?
嗯，嗯! 再来一次啊? Yeah, yeah! Can we start over?
请，再来一次 One more time, please.
没事吧? 嗯 Okay? Yeah.
你还好吗? Are you okay?
我不行了 I it anymore.
我是适合的那个人吗? And if I was good?
可你是第一任 You're the first.
是啊 Yeah ...
好吧 Oh well ...
再见! Hi!
还好吗? 你吓到我了 Okay? You scared me.
飞行愉快吗? Did you have a good flight?
是，很好! Yes, great!
怎么了? What is he?
我想和你谈谈 I gotta tell you something.
谈什么? What?
你怀孕了是吗? Are you pregnant?
不，当然不是! 哦，该死! No, not at all! Damn!
你可吓到我了 You scared me.
哦，对不起，宝贝儿 我还没睡醒呢 No, sorry my love, I'm not awake.
我不可原谅 但是宽恕我吧 I am unforgivable. Forgive me.
在我们这个年纪有个孩子，挺吓人的 但一切都会好起来，我保证 Children in my age, it's scary, but it's okay, I promise.
一切都会好起来的 It's okay.
好的 Okay.
偶尔换换口味挺好的! It changes gazelle horns!
是啊 Yeah.
我去吧 I going.
你来这儿干什么啊? 别担心 What are you doing this IT? Do not worry.
你忘了拿这个 You forgot that.
谢谢 Thank you.
你好 呃 Hello. Uh ...
好吧 我来介绍一下，这是约翰 约翰保罗 Here Jean ... Jean-Paul
我是来自魁北克的表兄 我来参加婚礼的 cousin Quebec I come to the wedding.
太棒了! 欢迎啊 Super! Welcome.
谢谢 不过你知道吗，婚礼在三周后举行 Thank you. But it is in three weeks.
是啊，不过总归早点儿来好啊 It's never too early.
我们那边常说 As we say at home:
"晚睡的人不会早起" "Who yawns before 6am sets after"
我真心为你们感到高兴 happy for you guys.
你没跟我说过，你在加拿大有亲戚啊? Do you have family in Canada?
嗯，其实... 我 Well, yeah ... I
是艾克多的孙子,移民去了加拿大 the grand-son of Hector, who emigrated to Quebec
因为布兰迪 Blandina after
离开了他 to the left ...
为了马瑟 啊! Marcel. Ah!
我俩倒是不相信这个迷信说法 We have been exceeded bullshit.
是吧，亲爱的? 嗯 Huh, honey? Yeah.
好吧，那我先走了 Okay well I'm going, so ...
我来就是跟你说一下我到了 I just came to say hi. Caribou Isa.
好了，再见，伊萨 皮埃 Caribou ... Peter.
哦，皮埃尔! Oh, Peter!
再见 Caribou.
看吧，你弱爆了! You're bad!
你们就可劲儿笑吧! 我没说错 Marrez you! Well, that's the word.
为将来的新人干杯! In the grooms!
好好享受吧，因为好日子么不会太久了 Enjoy it, it will not last.
你太言重了吧! 别太担心! Whether you're heavy! Do not worry!
我从不相信这种鬼话 I do not think curses.
相反的, By cons,
要说是奇怪的事儿, in heavy type,
你们的表兄，他才是个奇葩，算个人物 谁啊? your cousin, it is browned. Yes?
约翰保罗 Jean-Paul.
你们的魁北克表兄 是吗?谁啊? Your cousin Quebec. Yes?
约翰保罗!约翰保罗! Ben Jean-Paul! Jean-Paul!
啊! Aaaahhh!
你是说那个约翰保罗啊? Jean-Paul?
对,就是约翰保罗 约翰保罗 Yes, John Paul. John Paul.
因为你说的是 "约翰保罗"，我们没听出来发音 It included not is "Jean-Paul".
他今天早上九点一下飞机就来我家了 真的假的? He landed at 9 am. Yes or no?
真的，还戴了个大皮帽子 Yes, with a hat bearskin.
再见! 皮埃尔，再见! Caribou! Caribou!
"俺是约翰保罗，俺是魁北克人 " "I am John Paul, I come from Quebec. "
伊莎，注意步法! Isa, great!
我做不到 I can not.
不，你可以啊 Yes, you can.
不，我是指我们俩 No, that us.
每周一来打保龄 你都要说我站的位置不对，我受够了 Monday bowling with my foot never in the right place, I can not stand.
从来都是在同一家餐馆吃饭 就因为你认为它是 Always the same restaurant, so-called
最好的，我受够了，还有旅行 the best, I can not stand. Not leave
从来都不在8月，就因为你觉得人太多了， 我真受够了 August cause of the world, I can not stand.
伊萨，是婚礼让你这么紧张 Isa, marriage stresses you.
这很正常，很快就会过去了 皮埃尔，你还不明白吗 Okay, but it will go well. No.
我不想这样过 I do not want it to go well.
总之，我不想所有的一切都是按照计划行事 I do not want it to happen as we had expected.
我想要些 I I want that ...
我想要颠覆, 想要些惊喜 I want to be shaken, be surprised ...
你知道吗，我喜欢早上闹钟不响 晚餐会烧焦 I want my alarm clock does not ring or my dinner is brfllé.
我并不在乎，你懂么 Who cares.
亦或者 我们每周一和周日都做爱 Or I do not know ... we make love on Monday
你懂了吗? 或者一个月都不做 and Sunday, you know? Or not at all for a month.
我想要和狮子亲密接触 I want to be nose nose with a lion.
我不明白啊，伊莎贝拉,你有点儿神经质了，瞧你都说了些什么呀 I do not understand, Isabelle, you fart a cable there.
镇定点儿好吗 Pull yourself together.
不好 But no.
我没神经质，一点儿都没有 I fart no cable ...
正相反 the contrary.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
这次比赛算我们赢了吗? We won the game?
啊，闭嘴! Cry Shut up!
你再来一块羊腿么? You reprove well a slicer of the leg, right?
羊腿很对我口味哦 Of lamb, with pleasure.
喂，伊莎，你也来一点吧?你喜欢吃肉 Isa like a small slicer? You like meat.
好吧 不用了 OK. No.
你确定一点儿都不要么? Are you sure?
不要，谢谢 Yes, thank you.
炖了7个钟头的羊腿啊 The leg of 7:00.
妈妈，行了 Mom, it's okay.
如果是皮埃尔的话会很喜欢吃的 Pierre would have loved.
你是成心，还是怎么的了? You express do?
他们都分开几个月了，别在那这个事情烦她了 It's been months now loose it.
你就不能控制一下吗! You can not stop you!
该死的! Holy shit!
总有一天，会有个小鬼在这儿摔断腿的 One day a kid a leg will break.
人们会来这里抱怨的 And we will come to complain.
你在这儿呐? Thou art thou?
还好吗? 还行 Okay? Yeah.
要是你知道，我曾经多少次想拆了这间小木屋 If you knew how many times I wanted to rust out the cabin.
不过 But ...
你了解你母亲，她是刀子嘴豆腐心 you know your mother. She never wanted.
我能做下来吗? Can I?
你知道这25年来，每天早晨醒来, You know what it's like to wake up every morning for 25 years,
就看到这该死的小木屋，一直凝望着你，提醒你 to see that damn cabin looking to you to say:
"我比你先到"，是什么感觉吗? "I was the before you?"
不知道 No.
不知道? No?
这样人很生气 That damn balls.
不过我没有上当，我非常清楚 At the same time, I am not fooled. I know ...
你爸你妈相互一起度过的那整整六年 the six years that your mother has passed with your father
是她人生中最美好的年华 were the most beautiful his life.
她很希望他是第一个，也是最后一个 She wanted so the first or the last.
伊莎贝拉 Isabelle ...
我的小蝈蝈儿! my little grasshopper!
不要浪费时间了 Stop wasting time.
你本应将它拆了 You should have demolished.
你脑子坏了还是咋的? Are you sick or something?
这里是我唯一可以抽根儿烟的地方 This is the only place I can come to smoke a cigar
不会被你妈发现的 without it falls on me.
真悠闲啊 Cushy.
你从来都没跟我讲过还有这么一段 的确没有! You've never told me. Nope!
瞧，我还能让你有意外之喜 I can still surprise you.
嗯哼? Huh?
你还爱我吗? You love me a little?
当然爱! 继续说约翰伊芙啊! But yes! And Jean-Yves, damn it!
唉，哦，冷静点儿! Oh oh! Calrnos!
对不起，抱歉 Sorry, sorry.
她去找他了，但是根本无迹可寻 She sought but it was not found.
他当时已经辞职了 既没电话，也没住址 He had resigned. No address or number.
伊莎从他哥哥那里打听到 他去了拜雪，继续装修房子去了 She knew by his brother he was renovating his house to Baisieux
偶尔他还带英国旅行团 and handled groups English tourists.
什么?就这样了?伊莎找到他了又离开? That's it? It came and went?
但这又什么意义呀! But it sucks! This is crazy!
怎么回事儿! 你怎么每次都那么早下结论 我现在知道了，你男人为什么会离开你 How eagerly! I understand why your guy is barred.
哦，对不起，对不起，来点儿圣诞蛋糕吗? No, sorry, sorry. Of the log?
人们通常都会送宝贝女儿洋娃娃和泰迪熊 Some offer their daughter dolls or stuffed animals.
而布列塔尼公爵 他将这座宏伟的修道院赠予了他的女儿 The Duke of Brittany, he offered his daughter this magnificent abbey.
多么有聪明才智的男人啊 What a generous man.
这是中世纪建筑中的瑰宝之一完毕 This is one of the jewels of medieval architecture.
我们在拜雪的美好旅程就到此为止了 谢谢各位 Here ends our tour of Baisieux. Thank you very much.
明天下午2点，我们在这里集合 We are here tomorrow: 1400 h.
在此期间，大家不要喝太多的苹果就哦 From here, do not overdo cider.
谢谢, 约翰伊芙 客气了，谢谢 Thank you, Jean-Yves. Not enough, thank you.
哦，谢谢，谢谢你，非常感谢 Thank you very much.
我可以提个问题吗 I have a question.
不行，抱歉，今天的行程已经结束了，我 Sorry, it's over, it ...
你还愿意娶我吗? Will you remarry me?
你知道我们家的事儿 第一次婚姻总是不能善始善终 You know me, The first is never good.
我们就是这样的 There has to seen ours.
但是如果你和第一任复婚的话 那么这就是第二段婚姻了 But if you marry again with the first, it becomes the second.
如此，一切都行的通了 Le, it should work.
你觉得如何? What do you say?
不，我不认为这样就 No, I do not think it is ...
我爱你 I love you.
求你别说了? Stop, please?
跟我来 Come on.
站在这儿! Standing here!
就这样，故事结束了! And voila, you're done!
那么，你怎么看? Your opinion?
这段故事太美妙了 This is a great story.
那你感觉好点儿了吗? 是，是 But you feel better? Yeah, yeah ...
这让我 it me ... She whines.
哦，不! Oh no!
她又开始了 Here we go again.
真是的! It's crazy, that!
大家本以为你会开心的 We thought you'd like it.
不不，这样我好受多了 If so, it makes me feel good.
可是 No, but ...
因为酒精的缘故，我 is wine, champagne ...
还有你们对我这么好 And you are so nice finally.
让我感动 It me ...
即使这个故事是假的 Even if this story is false ...
是真的啊 即使不是真的, It is true. Even if it was not,
我不在乎 她太让人恼火了 I do not care. It is painful.
对不起，抱歉 Sorry, I'm sorry.
来，小酌一杯! 好呀，好呀 A little bit! Yeah, yeah.
干杯! 圣诞快乐! To us! Merry Christmas!
为什么他们夫妻今晚没来呢? 他们在科隆群岛 Why are not there '? They are the Galapagos Islands.
真的? 哦，抱歉? Really? Sorry, eh?
有个急诊 An emergency cabinet.
瓦莱丽，我给你介绍皮埃尔 Valerie, I present to you Peter.
皮埃尔! Pierre!
皮埃尔, 伊莎贝拉原来的那个皮埃尔 Peter, Peter and Isabelle.
哦，不，你们该不会又 YOU have not yet ...
不要再讲那个故事了 Stop with this story.
我就是一个傻瓜 不，一点儿都不 I go to a con. Not at all.
我不这样认为 I can not find.
幸会 Enchanted.
幸会 Nice.
来，把你的礼物给我 Give me your gifts.
亲爱的，坐下，放松啦 瓦莱丽，你也坐 Honey! Sit down, relax. Valerie sit too.
你吃蛋糕吗? 这蛋糕相当不错 瓦莱丽, 你负责把你那份吃完 You take the log? It is very good. Valerie, you finished your part.
来杯香槟吧, 气氛不错 棒极了，这才是圣诞节，对吧? There was champagne, it's beautiful, it is sublime, it's Christmas, right?
我省下了 Lev, I'm saving a ...
280欧，等等 280, wait ...
省下了 我的包包去哪儿了? Economy ... Where is my bag?
没事儿吧? It's nothing serious anyway?
我们重来吧 We Will resume.
这太难吃了，你看见了吧? It is inedible you see?
人生没有偶然，一切都是注定的 There is no chance in life, there that fate.
哦，不! Oh no!
什么? 我代替济度 What? I change Guytou.
什么? 我认为导演已经说开始了 What? I think they said action.
这 What ...
开始! 害羞? It is ACTION! Shy?
抱歉 Sorry.
害羞? 当然啦 开始 Shy? Surely yeah. Action.
害羞? Shy?
布奇一家，是一群小家伙 The Beurky's it's little creatures ...
我靠，等等! Violent shock Damn, wait!
等等，这是第二遍了 Wait, that's two times ...
事实上，是由新娘来决定是否进入婚房见她的新郎 Indeed, the woman decides to join or not her future husband in the hut.
呃 这是 And .. what is ...
在茅草屋 In the hut.
好了么? OK?
是否进入婚房见她的新郎,奇妙的是 Her future husband in the hut and what is great,
如果她拿起欧西亚 is precisely that, she will recover orcila ...
呃，在茅草屋或者在屋门口 hours in the hut, or the entrance of the hut.
你忘词儿了 You forgot ...
在茅草屋里她未来的丈夫将 Her husband the hut and what will ...
行了，再来，再来 Ok, go, go.
如果她恢复 她将轮到她 If she recovers Orgami and she would turn ...
这回是我 It's me.
快去，可可，弄死他们 Come on, Coco, tear them.
一个男人笑了，另一个则哭了, A man smiled, another cry,
生活如此残酷无情 the cruel cycle of life.
有臭脚丫子的味道，不是吗? It stinks of feet, right?
但是我爱你啊 But I love you.
还有... And ..
什么? What?
我说俄语要结巴，这太滑稽了 I mumbled in Russian it's crazy.
别担心, 一切都好 Do not worry, everything's fine.
靠! My ass!
什么? "丝糕" 什么? What? Sco. "What?
感觉如何? How are you?
暂停 I stopped.